challenges of owning a small business/pop up bakery

part one because i have a lot to say

hello ! before i dive into today’s newsletter, i want to thank every one of you for subscribing & trusting me to write something that is worth reading. i can’t believe there’s almost 500 of you already !!! past few weeks has been crazy for me as i juggled between wrapping up coucou for this year and planning a month long trip to korea/vietnam/japan but now that i’m in korea, i’m hoping i can publish at least two more before the new year.

so ! i have a LOT to say in this post. i knew that owning a business is not for the faint of heart but i didn’t know i’d contemplate quitting after every single pop up (it’s a love/hate relationship—i love love meeting everyone but prepping/baking for a pop is brutal to my body). at times the only thing that prevented me from quitting was knowing that i’d rather choose to be exhausted doing what i love than doing something i have no passion/love for.

i do love setting up the table and seeing my week’s work come together

my hope is that through this post i can show you a glimpse of what it’s like to run a pop up bakery alone. it definitely is not as cutesy as i make it to be on instagram and sometimes it feels like most of the job is cleaning and doing the dishes (which my amazing husband does 90% of the time so i shouldn’t complain).

there’s many other small business owners who have shared their challenges, but here’s what i personally struggled (and still struggle) with the most:

being the brain behind everything

ironically this is also one of the best thing about running a small business—being your own boss means you have the absolute freedom to schedule and structure your work. no one can tell you what to do and what not to do. but this freedom can quickly feel like a burden—you’re responsible for everything, and i mean EVERYTHING: planning, marketing, ingredient shopping, baking, folding boxes, cleaning, customer service, and the list goes on. it’s only after doing coucou that i realized how nice it is to have someone tell you what to do.

there were weeks when i had a pop up scheduled on saturday and custom cakes to be made and picked up on friday. i would barely get any sleep the night before the pop up and curse myself for putting myself in such a situation yet again. being your own boss is exhausting unless there’s an effective system that allows you to take a break without having to worry about the income (i have not yet been able to create such a system; hopefully 2025 is the year i do).

baking all day before the pop up - but baking itself is a fraction of what i do at coucou

either working or thinking about work 24/7

this is closely tied to the first challenge. because i’m the brain behind everything, i’m always thinking about work even after work. big contributor to this is the pressure to post consistently, if not constantly, on instagram. since i don’t own a brick and mortar, instagram works as my storefront, a place where i can showcase what i make and take orders from. so i had this immense fear that if i don't post enough, i'll lose the momentum and coucou will be forgotten. i often felt as though i've failed (at what exactly, i'm not sure) when i didn't manage to salvage a perfect picture to post after baking. on top of this pressure to be constantly present on instagram, i had the pressure to have a different menu every single pop up, afraid that no one will show up if i offer the same old menu every time. this led me to work in a way that was not sustainable for a one-person business. after weeks of working day and night, coucou started to wear me out both mentally and physically.

here’s an excerpt from my journal, written in august (a month of 3 pop ups, 10 custom cakes, and 24 pastry boxes):

“the more i pour into coucou, the less i can take in and enjoy the rest of my life. and what for? to earn more? what does it matter if i’m not able to take the time to simply rest and enjoy time with those i love? i have to learn to take a step back. my desire to do more, earn more, grow the biz more is literally creating a gap between the life i want to live and the life i end up living.”

i’ve intentionally scheduled less pop ups and custom orders each month since this reflection, but i still struggle with keeping a good work/life balance. i do, however, try to keep these rules:

• don’t schedule pop ups back to back

• plan ahead: come up with the menu and have all the recipes written out by tuesday so i can start prepping by wednesday

• give up on certain items if there’s still things to bake past 8pm the day before the pop up

a rough to-do list for the first couple days of the pop up week

because i care so much about coucou, i often forget to take care of myself. for the first couple of months of doing coucou full time, i prioritized coucou over my health, relationship with family and friends, and other duties and hobbies. as a result, i became absolutely miserable and wanted to stop doing coucou all together.

i have to remind myself again and again that coucou can thrive only when i’m able to take intentional breaks away from the business. i know now that if i haven’t gone out for a walk or haven’t cooked a nice meal for myself in a while because i was too busy, it’s time to reevaluate my priorities again.

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this is a rather abrupt end, but i want to break this topic into two newsletters because i just have so much to say and i don’t want this newsletter to be longer than it is now. i’ll publish part two sometime in the next week, i promise !

if you’re also a small business owner or hoping to become one, i’d love to hear your thoughts on this as well—it’s sometimes comforting to know that others share the struggles i have.

until next time !

love, joy